American Values Series #1

Feb 19, 2025. eflsuccess.com ⇔

Underlined vocabulary terms are defined below, followed by discussion questions

The family was a key building block of American culture. Immigrants were grateful for America’s opportunities to earn a decent living and educate their children, as well as to worship freely and escape old-world politics. In almost every culture that mixed together to become America, a strong father led his family. Traditions taught everyone their place in a structured, extended family. But “the family” in America is changing, as traditions conflict with American values like technology, education, and individualism.

As late as the 1980s, families watched a single television together or played a board game after sharing a meal. Then came cheaper TVs with more channels, then computers (with games), followed by the Internet and smartphones. Today, family members grab “convenience” food and head to their own rooms with a smartphone (social media) and countless “streaming” entertainment choices. Technology and personal choices are pushing families apart.

Education, another top American value, also strains the family. First, a parent’s educational achievement often means moving to a distant city for work or relocating often. This takes the nuclear family far from older parents, other relatives, family friends at church, etc. In addition, some parents fill their children’s time with studying (books, music, sports…). Other parents leave their children’s futures to teachers or peers while they pursue their own interests. Both extremes weaken family unity.

Individualism is another factor. Putting themselves over family unity, parents and children scatter to non-family relationships and hobbies, instead of doing things together. Meanwhile, progressive educators, social media, and entertainers push “individual mental health” and “personal identity” (and related “sexual identity”) above all other values. Children are told: “You are free to be yourself, whether that means gender fluidity, top student, couch potato, or football star. Your parents should respect your choices.” Many parents agree, respecting a child’s poor choices. Meanwhile, individualism also affects adults, who may put a career, hobby, or new romance over the expectations of a spouse, a child, or their extended family.

Many other factors also affect the family. Church attendance is down. Crime is up. The cost of living is up, but incomes are down as the nature of work changes. The choice to overuse credit also strains the family budget. Some people choose temporary or part-time work, so they have more time “to enjoy life.” People who think mainly of “me now” tend not to value the discipline of saving money or preparing for the future.

The traditional family had a husband and wife and their children. Today, families sometimes include children from two or more marriages/divorces, mixed-race families, or families led by only one parent or same-gender parents. 

Maybe it’s wishful thinking to hope for a return to unified families, who pick up selfless values at church, prepare children for careers, and get along with neighbors. Or maybe the ongoing tide of immigrants who value the extended family will bring new life, faith, and strength to the American family. 

Vocabulary:

(underlined words are vocabulary terms; *key terms) [click here for common English abbreviations]

• *building block = a part of something bigger; a child’s toy, where small bricks/boxes are put together to build a house, etc.
• *immigrant = someone who leaves his home country to settle and become a citizen in a new country
• *to earn a decent living = to have a job that pays enough (not “a lot” but not too little money)
• *tradition = a belief, custom, or way of doing something that has existed for a long time; [uncountable] all of these beliefs, customs, etc., in general.
• nuclear family = parents and children living together while the children grow up
• extended family = the nuclear family plus other relatives such as grandparents, adult brothers and sisters, cousins, etc.
• technology = the practical application of scientific knowledge to do things better; new equipment and ways of doing things that reflect growing or modern knowledge
• *individualism = the belief that the needs of each person are more important than the needs of the group or the society
• *board game = a game 3-6 people play around a table on a specially designed mat
• relocate = to move to another place (especially because you found a better job, or your company wants you to work at a different place)
• progressive (educators) = emphasizing individual instruction, informality, free-thinking, and other non-traditional ideas in the classroom (instead of making students memorize facts, spelling, “the right answer”, etc.)
• gender fluidity = not strictly identifying oneself as always male or female (someone might “feel” like one or both at different times)
• couch potato = a person who spends a lot of time lying on a sofa, watching TV
• *romance = love, or a feeling of being in love
• wishful thinking = an idea that is probably impossible in real life

Discussion:

Are there any terms you want to ask your teacher about? (*key questions to start with) (As always, please do not answer any question that makes you uncomfortable.)

1. *Talk about something you found surprising or interesting in today’s article.
2. Share about one time when you had an especially fun time and/or meaningful time with some of your family members that helped your family feel closer with each other.
3. *America is a country where almost everyone descended from immigrants. How has that helped America to develop? What problems come with ongoing immigration?
4. *Has the role or importance of the family changed in your culture during the past 20 years?  If so, what has changed?
5. Some of the values mentioned in the article include family (esp. the good things that come with an extended family), technology, education, individualism, self-sufficiency, faith/religion, discipline, altruism, delayed gratification, and hard work. Choose from this list (or name a different value); which value do you think is the most important family value? Explain. 
6. *How has modern technology helped family relationships and hurt family relationships today?  Explain.
7. The article said progressive parents often respect a child’s choices, whether good or bad. If you had a teenage son/daughter doing the following things, which would you disagree with (if any) and why? Spending a lot of time on an iPhone; smoking marijuana; showing a lack of manners or respect to adults; maintaining a fast-food diet; letting a series of boyfriends/girlfriends sleep in your house; spending lots of time playing games while getting poor grades.
8. *A “guard rail” is a metal barrier along a road that helps prevent cars from going down steep hills, into rivers, etc. (especially in bad driving conditions). Many Christians believe that traditional faith was like a social “guard rail” to provide order to families, prevent unwanted pregnancies, give children a moral compass, etc. Talk about the good and bad results of removing these “guard rails” over the past 40 years. 
9. In your opinion, should Americans return to traditional family values?  Do you think it is even possible to return to traditional family values? Explain.
10. *In addition to the values mentioned in question 5, here are some more: clear standards for right & wrong, mutual respect, obedience to parents, fidelity, hard work, honesty, responsibility, humble attitude, kindness, politeness, unselfishness, generosity, discipline, etc. –  What 2-3 values do you think will or should be most important in your family?  Explain why each value you choose is important to you.

If you still have time, read and talk about these ancient Proverbs. How could they help someone have a better family?

¹⁷ It is better to eat vegetables with people who love each other
    than to eat good meat with people who hate each other.
¹⁸ Angry people bring quarrels, but patient people bring peace.
²⁰ A wise child makes his father happy.
But a foolish person does not respect his mother.
²² Without good advice, your ideas will never happen. But you will do well if you have many advisors.
²³It makes you happy when you give a good answer to a question.
    It is good when you find the right thing to say at the right time.
              – from Prov 15: 17-23 (EasyEnglish Bible)

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Sources include
Article and definitions from Kathy Williams; Personal survey

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